Cycle Living consciously as a highly sensitive mother

Highly sensitive. Maternity. Menstruation.

If you know what I'm talking about, you also know that it can resemble a total collision. It is a coincidence of feelings, needs and stimuli that can end in a complete catastrophe. And that, month after month after month.

No wonder you demonize your period, it's really unbearable on those few days in the month. If you still have pain during your period, or PMS (I mean, we're not talking about a few days, but maybe two weeks). So half the month. Half of a year. A big period of time in your life. Does that annoy us? Yes, yes! Are we just going to accept this? No, we don't want to!!! Can we do something about that? No we can... Um, wait a minute!

Yes we can!

Let me tell you how. But I have to split it up.

1. High sensitivity
2. Highly sensitive motherhood
3. The female cycle
4. The supreme discipline: unite everything

Spoiler: I'm highly sensitive and just stupid. I am very highly sensitive, with almost all parts that make me highly sensitive. I am a mother of two boys. Currently 2 and 4 years old.

I menstruate and I love it! I live cycle-consciously and be careful, my favorite phase is winter, i.e. menstruation.

As you see, I know what I'm talking about. So let's get started:

 

1 High sensitivity

In our everyday lives we are constantly exposed to stimuli. Both from the outside and from the inside. Society still often assumes that highly sensitive people are simply not as resilient, can achieve less and are more quickly overloaded with stimuli.

But the truth is: they perceive MORE!

The neurotransmitters are responsible for this. These are messenger substances in our brain; they serve as transmitters of a nerve impulse. Or, roughly speaking, a stimulus. Highly sensitive people have significantly more neurotransmitters than non-highly sensitive people and therefore have a much more sensitive, or even more precise, nervous system. So far fewer stimuli are “lost”. It is also often explained with the net, in which the holes in this net are simply larger. So a lot more stimuli come into the system unfiltered.

In addition, these stimuli are processed in more detail and depth.

Approximately 15-20% of people are highly sensitive. However, we are not simply highly sensitive or not. You can be highly sensitive to different degrees and in different directions.

It is divided into sensory, emotional and cognitively sensitive:

• Sensory-sensitive people react strongly to noises, light, colors and/or tastes.
• Emotionally sensitive people are particularly sensitive on an interpersonal level. They are very compassionate and empathetic, usually very good listeners and can usually sense the mood or energy of the person they are talking to just by entering the room.
• Cognitively sensitive People have a strong sense of logic, right or wrong, and justice. When someone is treated unfairly, it is almost unbearable.

2 Highly sensitive motherhood

With pregnancy and at the latest from the birth of our child, life changes suddenly. There is a little person who is completely dependent on us and determines our lives from one day to the next. This can be wonderful, but also stressful and challenging. And for highly sensitive people just a little more.

Because we simply feel EVERYTHING!!! So suddenly we are no longer just exposed to our own stimuli and needs, but also to those of our baby. And they may feel like they are our own.

This can be an incredibly big advantage because it allows us to respond so well to our child's needs. But it's also just unbelievably much. Added to this is the lack of sleep, the constant physical contact and your own feelings.

In the course of motherhood, circumstances naturally change. You may get more sleep, but the house will become more clutter. Which is just as difficult to act for highly sensitive people, because chaos on the outside can also mean chaos on the inside.

If the child then goes to playgroup, kindergarten or school, it gives us more freedom and time for ourselves. But this also means more room for worries and carousing thoughts. In addition, there are more caregivers and more situations in which we are exposed to stimuli together with our children.  

 

3 The female cycle

As you may already know, the female cycle is divided into 2 or Divided into 4 phases.

1. Cycle phase: Winter/menstruation and spring/follicular phase
2. Cycle phase: summer/ovulation phase and autumn/luteal phase.

Each phase has its peculiarities and challenges: In spring our spirits awaken. We prefer to be among people again. This reaches its peak in summer, our absolute peak phase, and then it goes into autumn. We withdraw more and take everything a little more calmly. Before we retreat into winter and let go.

As you may have already read in this blog, you can support your body wonderfully naturally within your cycle. A cyclical everyday life alone can have a big impact, so adjusting your active and quiet times to your cycle phases, as described above.

In addition, you can look into cyclical nutrition and find out what is good for you in the respective phase of the cycle and what is not so good.  There are also so-called “hormone disruptors” that can really mess up your cycle and your hormones.But that would go beyond the scope here.If you would like to delve deeper into the topic, I can highly recommend the book “Cycle in Happiness” by Jessica Roch. Or you can book a cycle coaching or workshop.

Just one more thing in advance: A slight pulling sensation in the abdomen before and during menstruation is completely normal, but a healthy cycle does NOT cause pain!

4 The supreme discipline: unite everything

I would now like to tell you how you can use the different cycle phases as a highly sensitive mother for yourself and your children.

Follicular phase/spring

It is the time when we can become more active again, including with our children. In principle, I strongly recommend that you structure your entire family life in a highly sensitive manner. Maybe you want to arrange a playdate with a good friend and her kids. But maybe it's better at your or her home and not on the playground. Make sure you don't go home just before dinner, but rather an hour beforehand. So that your children can still come down. Maybe your partner can take care of the kids at home and you can go for a walk.

Ovulation phase/summer

In the ovulation phase I do things that I never do otherwise. Namely, go to the playground or the outdoor pool. It is important to go to the market in the morning and plan another social activity for the afternoon. In spring, as well as in summer, you can plan activities in the evening just for yourself. But if you get up with the children the next day, I advise you to still plan enough sleep. When you get home, you probably can't go straight to bed and close your eyes, right? Weighted blankets are great for regulating the nervous system while you sleep.

Luteal phase/autumn

We're in the forest then. The forest is an absolute place of power, a place to relax and recharge. For you and your children. You can breathe deeply and your children have so much to discover.

Everything is getting a little more cozy, reading books, doing crafts. I only plan a date in the evening with very select people who I know give me absolutely NO energy.

Menstruation/Winter

Winter represents retreat.

Withdrawal, peace and quiet, children... hmmm, that can be quite challenging and maybe not a good fit at all. Luckily, our children are as different as we adults are. And so there are certainly children for whom these quieter things are possible.

With my...? Um no…rather boring. Especially not when I want to. :) But it really helps me to take the pressure off all the other to-dos on these days. It really doesn't matter what the apartment looks like, and in the evening when they sleep, I leave everything exactly as it is. Not always easy for my highly sensitive organization brain, but relaxation is now the top priority. There's something simple for dinner, maybe someone else is cooking (always for me anyway: my husband has the kitchen office #MentalLoad #DivisionCareWork). We also need more sleep, so go to bed early.

Or what's really a great idea: just let your grandparents, girlfriend or godfather look after the children without rushing to an appointment, but rather to stay at home. On the sofa, with a book, Netflix….a raw cocoa (healthier than coffee and rich in magnesium).

The guilty conscience can just stay outside because self-care is important. Because we can only nourish when we ourselves are nourished and because, in order to accompany lovingly, we can also lovingly accompany ourselves.

About the author:
Lena Küenzi is a social educator and holistic coach for women's health. In her 1:1 coaching sessions and workshops, she accompanies women on the topics of high sensitivity, motherhood and women's health.